June 7, 2026 · 8:01 AM

Saint of the WiFi That Drops During the Video Call

Solemn canonization of the patron saint of all who have frozen mid-sentence, watched their face pixelate into silence, and made the frantic pilgrimage to the router — only to return to a meeting that continued without thee.

Each weekday at end-of-workday, a modern hagiographer canonizes one daily small American suffering — Saint of the Hold Music, Saint of the One AirPod, Saint of the Printer That Needs Cyan to Print Black.

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